It’s been almost a week since I have been home with the newest addition and so far most of my fears have disappeared. The fear of my eldest hating his sister. The fear of not finding a routine. The fear of having too much on my plate. The fear of falling into depression, like I did after my first pregnancy. I let these fears get the best of me at the hospital. The fear of my son rejecting his little sister got me so panicked that I worried about whether or not I would feel the same for this child as I had with my first. I instantly felt guilty and terrible for feeling this way because a mothers love is never divided and shared equally among her children. After doing some research, I found that I am not the only parent that has felt this way. And after spending some quiality bonding time with my daughter, I was able to get rid of these feelings pretty quickly.
As for my son, it took him a lot less time to get used to his sister than I thought. A few days in and he went from cringing away from her to kissing her and wanting to share his toys and his food with her. He now calls her sissy, smiles and laughs when he sees her. Now he won’t go anywhere without her and makes sure that we never forget to take the baby with us wherever we go.
As for the routine, I have already come to the conclusion that routines come and go and change constantly throughout life. Right now, we might have a good routine going, but in the long run, I know that it will change eventually. Its about learning to adapt to new things and new situations and embracing change. I was afraid of that change for a long time while pregnant. Yes, I was excited to meet her, but at the same time, I was dreading the day she would come, because I knew everything would change. But I also knew that I needed to embrace that change because it was going to happen whether I was ready for it or not. And in the end, things have worked out well and for the better.