Parenting

Baby can cry!

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I almost forgot how much a newborn cries. Almost. Sometimes I wish I had, but it was one of the things that I was dreading with the new baby right before she was born. I even tried to mentally prepare myself, to get myself ready for the constant crying. I even tried reminding my husband, daily, that we would have to start this process all over again. The diapers, the late nights, the screaming, the feeling of tearing your hair out when nothing seems to go right… it’s a little much sometimes.

Speaking of a little much, my toddler decided his terrible twos were going to start the day after his birthday. And let me tell you, it’s overwhelming. He cries, doesn’t listen, throws things, throws himself on the floor, and heaven forbid if you take anything out of his hands! The world is constantly ending in his eyes. It’s like he’s having a beginning of life crisis. Like his life is so terrible he can’t control himself. But of course, life isn’t so bad and he’s goes back to being his sweet self within a few minutes. I hope this stage doesn’t become the terrible toddlers. I’m not sure I can handle more than a year of this!

I do love my children, but sometimes I just want to lock myself in the bathroom. I can’t even do that now, my toddler always kicking and screaming at the door if I lock him out. So, nothing is sacred anymore. But, tis the life of a mother, right?

Parenting, Uncategorized

All hail the birthday boy!

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There is a slight look of panic on my face as I’m trying to mimic the cups smile, hoping that the rest of me will catch on. Be happy, be positive, be happy. Sometimes it’s hard to listen to your inner voice when the frustrations of your life consume your every thought. You can try to forget about that pile of laundry that needs folded and put away. You can try to forget that the house needs a decent scrub down before your son’s birthday tomorrow but it won’t dissapear.

His birthday party is tomorrow and I’m slightly dying inside. That means my day is going to be full of funt-astic things to do. First, I’m going to work from 10-5, then I’m going to come home (now this is just an estimate) to a house that looks well lived in. My husband will have only done the bare minimum because he can’t handle two children, leaving me the rest while trying to make dinner in the process. I will fly through the list, trying to do all things at one time, resulting in me stressing out even more. I’ll be worried that I won’t get it done in time, that I’ll forget to do something and someone might see a speck of dust on the entertainment stand, heaven forbid. I will take my frustration out on my husband, telling him that he needs to help out more. He will either walk away and try to ignore me, or he will argue back, resulting in a fight that isn’t necessary.

Tomorrow, I will be freaking out. I will be wondering what I forgot to do, running around the place like a crazy person, tearing out my hair because I forgot to buy paper plates and plastic forks. Everything will be procrastinated, and we will end up having a four hour party rather than just a two hour like we planned. I will be crazy until the party ends and then I’ll be back on the crazy train trying to clean up after people. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

I’m not going to lie. I’ve always hated parties since I was a kid. I don’t like mingling, or small talk and I hate hosting parties because I’m a perfectionist and when something doesn’t go right, I have a panic attack. I’ve been told on multiple occasions that I have a problem and I’m the first to admit that I do.

I’ll be crossing my fingers hoping that my child doesn’t get cake all over my newly washed floor.

Parenting

Parent Sex

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Yes, that is a shocked batman face because not only is that my favorite super hero, but I’m going to talk about a subject that not many parents talk about. Parent sex.

What is parent sex you ask? Parent sex is when you get that five minute intermission between taking care of your children to slip away and do your business. (Now, of course, the kids are SAFE and otherwise occupied.) It happens between the baby sleeping and the toddler playing in his room, between the laundry and the dishes, and always when you least expect it. (Again, children are SAFE- if I don’t make this clear enough, people will assume my children are left without adult super vision.)

Parent sex is not exactly something I’m proud of participating in. It was a spur of the moment thing, a moment where I was putting away clothes and my husband began rubbing my shoulders and we went from there. Normally, I am the one to turn down the sex when the kids are awake. But it had been a while since we had sex and it was the perfect opportunity. The baby was sleeping and our toddler was in his room, laying on his bed, watching a movie. It was a very quick one, wham-bam-thank you ma’am style. When we came back out, both kids were exactly where we left them, nothing having changed in those few minutes.

It happened because we haven’t been able to make time to be together. The night we went out for our anniversary, we were so tired that we didn’t even have the energy. And every other night, our kids are either co-sleeping with us because he had a nightmare, or we don’t have the energy to even attempt sex. We have planned nights where we say we are going to have sex, but then those plans always get changed, as everything does when you have kids. My husband and I have learned our lesson with planning. Expect the unexpected, and even then you aren’t fully prepared.

Point being, we are human. Shit happens and it happens every day. It isn’t perfect, but you have to make perfection out of imperfections. And if that means taking a few minutes to have sex with your significant other, then by all means, do it.

 

Uncategorized

First week back

This week has been my first week back to work and so far it’s been an interesting one. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for either of my children or myself, but I was hoping for a smoother transition. Between my toddler throwing a fit because he doesn’t want me to leave, and my 1 month old crying because her brother is whining, I don’t know which is worse. It’s heart warming to know that he doesn’t want me to go anywhere, but it’s also frustrating. I tried my best to keep a level head, said my goodbyes (with an extra long hug to my toddler) and went on my way with my fingers crossed that everything was going to be fine.

Sunday was not only my first day at work, but also my husbands first day at watching our kids without me for longer than thirty minutes. I was glad that I didn’t have to take them to a babysitters, but at the same time, I was concerned that he couldn’t handle it on his own. So by the request of both o us, my friend and her younger sister came to spend the day with them. I felt much better, especially for my first day back. I wanted it to go as smooth as possible for all of us. I checked in once and everything was fine, my husband even did some chores around the house without me having to say anything. Overall, it was a good day.

My second day, Monday, was a little more rough. My toddler woke up when I did. He was tired and clingy and was smart enough to know that me getting dressed and ready that early in the morning was a sign that I was leaving. He’s wasn’t having it. Thank goodness my babysitter lives a few houses down (also the friend that helped Sunday) and she came to me. After I gave him some breakfast and he was settled with his Octonauts, I headed out. He did fine once I left and in felt confident that the worst was over.

This morning, he’s sleeping in, my 1 month old is sleeping and now I’m just waiting for my babysitter to come by. Overall, the transitioning hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be, thank god!

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

Finding Yourself

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I haven’t written in a while. Things around here are busy, stressful and I haven’t been able to find the time to write anything. I honestly haven’t even had the motivation to write anything about parenting. But this week, I got to thinking about myself and how I don’t feel very ‘me‘ lately.

Being a parent can take a tole on your body and your mind and your spirit. It is a wonderful experience that changes your life forever for the better, but at the same time, it can make you wonder how you will ever get back to the person you used to be. In my opinion, you change with each child that is born and for the most part, it is normally a good change, and you may never see your former self again. I, myself, know that I am not the same person I was before my son was born. I am perfectly fine with that. I have learned so much, and have grown as a person because of being a parent. But, at the same time, being so consumed with taking care of my family has made me realize that I haven’t spent much time for myself since my first was born.

I am sure that I am not the only person that feels like this. Taking care of your children, your husband and your house can be awfully time consuming, and taking time for yourself can make you feel guilty. I know that I went out with my friends one time after my son was born and the entire time I worried if my child was okay, if he needed me, if I was having too much fun when I should have been watching my child, and so on. Everything was fine, and I did have a good time when I wasn’t watching my phone for a phone call.

Even though I was worried, I’m glad that I went out. I have already gone out twice since my daughter was born, both times with my husband. I followed my grandmother advice. She said, in order to keep your relationship healthy after children, you need to make time for yourself and your husband. So, we have both decided that we need to try to at least have one night a month to ourselves. A night of going out, having a real conversation that doesn’t revolve around our children, and enjoying an entire night alone. I’ve already gone through the stages. I get excited to go out, then that excitement begins to wear off. I feel sad, and miss them. That’s when I call my babysitter. My husband finds this funny, that I can’t go one night without making sure they are okay. For me, I can’t understand how he can. But, I know it comes with being a mommy. plus I worry enough for the both of us.

It’s important to keep your spirit up. It’s even more important to make time for yourself and your significant other, but the days can be stressful, and without that time, things can fall apart quicker than you can blink.