Call me pathetic and sad, or whatever comes to your mind, but it’s the first day of daycare and I’m having anxiety. It makes me wonder, is this what it’s like for mothers on the first day of school?
Granted, my husbands nan runs the daycare and it’s relatively small so I don’t have to worry about him getting lost in a sea of children. And I know how much she enjoys her great grandaughter, so I shouldn’t be worried. But I am. I’m worried because I’m a mother and that’s what we do. We worry, we scream, we cry and most days we look like hell (unless you are one of those mom’s that always looks put together (YOU GO GIRL! MORE POWER TO YOU!)). Despite them being with someone who loves and cares for them, I think I am the one that is freaking out more than my kids.
I am hoping this is a normal reaction and that it subsides sooner than later. It’s hard to focus on my work and get things done. I keep reminding myself that they are fine and if she has a problem, she won’t hesitate to call. And then I think about how stubborn my children are, especially my son.
What if he doesn’t listen? What if he won’t go down for nap time? What if he decides he’s going to let out his inner demon and wreak havoc on the other children? But I guess it isn’t my job today.
I have control issues. I also have issues with other people taking care of my kids. Don’t get me wrong, the help is appreciated but I am the type of person that likes doing everything herself. I will wear myself out until there is no energy left in me and I’m standing on wobbly legs. But it’s time to let go of the reins a little bit and move forward in this stage of their lives.
God help me when they go to school….